Friday was a pretty crappy day. Monkey had to undergo anesthesia to get a CT scan done, for an upcoming surgery. Anesthesia is never fun for a kid or a parent, and the anxiety is always high. The worst part of all, is that as they get older, they know what's coming. They do not want anything to do with the 'room' or the mask they put on you to knock you out. It's hard enough for a parent to have to deal with their kid being sick, or needing medical procedures, but when you add in seeing the sheer terror on your sweet little guy's face, it's unbearable.
I was a little surprised that the doctor and the nurse were impressed that I wanted to be involved. When the nurse told the doctor I'd be coming into the room with them to help see Monkey off to sleep, he had a look on his face. He explained to me that most parents don't like to 'see that', and I should be prepared in case they need to restrain him to get the mask on. I kindly explained to him that after everything we've been through (112 days in the NICU, over 10 surgeries, countless 'procedures', etc), sadly, this was nothing new. And I would prefer it if I could help get the mask on Monkey, because restraining an anxious 4 year old, is only going to terrify him more and make future procedures more difficult. They never seem to care much about the down the road stuff though, do they? They only want to get their thing done.
We walked together to the room, much better than riding on a bed, and I tried to distract Monkey by asking him to count all the fish on the CT machine. Once everyone was ready, I picked him up and we sat together on the bed. I held the mask and sung him a song. He clearly was still a little freaked out, but at least I was able to comfort him more than some stranger pinning him down. He was out pretty quick and the medical team was all astonished at how 'brave' of a mom I was. I have to scoff a little bit, because in my mind, I'm not brave at all. I'm just doing the best I can to reassure my baby. He's the brave one.
If anything, I'm just emotionally checked out. As bad as that probably sounds, I just have to turn it off and not think about it. I can't fall apart in front of him. I'll wait until I'm out of sight to have my quick cry. Or maybe I'll bottle it all up and break down later over something completely unrelated. Definitely nothing brave about it.
So until our next adventure, a nasal endoscopy next week, that I'm absolutely dreading, I'll make sure everything is as normal as can be for my little Monkey. And when the time comes, he'll be the brave one again. I'm just there to hold his hand.
Hugs,
-J
Sunday, November 4, 2012
Saturday, November 3, 2012
Why traveling is good for the soul
Traveling is one of my favorite activities. Whether it's a simple day trip an hour north of town, a weekend road trip to the beach, or a two week european escape, I love to get out of town. Exploring new places or seeing old friends, it always invigorates me.
I've found that when there is a trip on the horizon, I always become a little more animated in everyday life. I really look forward to that journey, never knowing what excitement lies ahead. If, on the other hand, there is no travel in my near future, it makes me feel slightly anxious, and a little sad.
A few quotes have recently stood out to me and made me reflect on my 'travel anticipation addiction'. Of course, I didn't save the exact quotes, but to me it's the idea that is important, not the exact wording. I feel like these days, we are so inundated with quotes whether from Facebook, Twitter, or Pinterest. I suppose if I'm going to write about them, I need to start bookmarking them. I digress.
The first quote talks about how if we spend too much time dreaming about the future (or dwelling on the past), we miss the gift of today (our present, get it?). I understand completely, and although I love planning my trips as much as I love taking them, I also appreciate each day I have with my family and all the little joys that I experience.
The second quote talks about how we shouldn't have to look forward to vacations because they are an escape from our everyday life, and if our everyday life is that boring, we should make it more interesting. Sometimes that's easier said than done, especially for a stay at home mom. We need to have something fun to look forward to. We often get stuck in the day to day rut of cooking, cleaning, settling toy disputes, cleaning up poop/pee/vomit.
For me personally, I have two kiddos with medical issues, so my calendar is overflowing with doctor appts, therapy sessions, and surgeries. The day to day of keeping up with all of it can become exhausting. Don't get me wrong, there is plenty of fun on that calendar, too, but it's nice to glance at it and see "vacation" in big letters. I NEED to see vacation in big letters. I love that for the most part, everywhere we travel to, there is a good friend or family member there to greet us. One of the good and bad things about being separated from people you care about.
Fortunately, hubby loves traveling as much as I do and we've always been a spontaneous couple when it comes to taking trips. Last minute road trip to Las Vegas for the millenium New Year? Check! And when I say last minute, I mean it. We decided to go on the 30th because there had been a ton of cancellations and hotel rooms were dirt cheap. He was flying home to LAX on the 31st, I picked him up at the airport and we drove straight there. It was awesome. Same with going to europe to celebrate Christmas in London and New Year's in Paris, as well as stops in Amsterdam and Belgium (this was clearly before kids). We decided to go about the first week of December because there were some ridiculous fare sales if you arrived on Christmas day and we had a friend's flat in London to stay in.
Even when Monkey came along, we tried to make travel a priority. It was hard the first year, as there were a lot of medical issues and equipment/surgeries kept us close to home. Right after his first birthday though, we started our travels again. I'm happy to say that Monkey has been to DC/Virginia three times, San Francisco/Monterey twice, Denver, Florida Keys, plus numerous road trips to Southern California, and throughout Arizona. He's got more frequent flier miles than a lot of adults. Even little Bear went on his first flight to DC at only 7 months old, and went to San Diego at 4 months.
The main reason I thought to write about this today, is that we just booked another trip. This one to Denver, Bear's first time there, Monkey's second. Ironically, as I'm pulling out and sorting through the winter clothes today, I realize that Bear is going to have almost exactly the same wardrobe for this trip as Monkey did when we took him. It's been almost three years since we've been there.
It's amazing what booking this trip did for my mood yesterday. Monkey had a medical procedure, nothing serious, but as always, stressful just the same. Read about it here*. It always deflates my mood when these things come up, and I tend to get in a funk. Hubby texts me around 5:30 to say he's heading home soon, but might have a new client in Denver, and is thinking about possibly traveling there in December. He wants to know what I think. This is like an instant shot of adreneline for me. Trip? Denver? Next month? Heck yes! So of course, before I even text him back, I check flights on my phone. I have all the travel apps for such an emergency. My favorite? The Southwest app and the ITA Travel app.
Within about 2 minutes I find a $66 roundtrip ticket on United. What? This must be some kind of glitch. The whole family could fly for under $200? You must be kidding me. So then I whip out the laptop and verify. Yup, it's true. Better yet, Southwest has almost the same fair, and no baggage fees! I call Hubby right away and by 6:00, after a phone call to our good friends in Denver, we have our tickets booked. I'm instantly on cloud 9. YES! After a crappy day, we now have a trip on the horizon. Best part, it's during the holidays! I love traveling during the Christmas season and seeing all the decorations and such.
The trip is a month away, but I'm already looking forward to it. Monkey's excited too. He keeps asking, "Are we going to Colorado today?" Can't wait.
Hope you are able to experience and enjoy all the fun and memories that traveling brings, with your family. And remember, some of the best experiences happen on the actual journey to your destination.
Hugs,
-J
*Of course, I wrote this post first, saved the draft, and then decided to write about his procedure before posting this.
I've found that when there is a trip on the horizon, I always become a little more animated in everyday life. I really look forward to that journey, never knowing what excitement lies ahead. If, on the other hand, there is no travel in my near future, it makes me feel slightly anxious, and a little sad.
A few quotes have recently stood out to me and made me reflect on my 'travel anticipation addiction'. Of course, I didn't save the exact quotes, but to me it's the idea that is important, not the exact wording. I feel like these days, we are so inundated with quotes whether from Facebook, Twitter, or Pinterest. I suppose if I'm going to write about them, I need to start bookmarking them. I digress.
The first quote talks about how if we spend too much time dreaming about the future (or dwelling on the past), we miss the gift of today (our present, get it?). I understand completely, and although I love planning my trips as much as I love taking them, I also appreciate each day I have with my family and all the little joys that I experience.
The second quote talks about how we shouldn't have to look forward to vacations because they are an escape from our everyday life, and if our everyday life is that boring, we should make it more interesting. Sometimes that's easier said than done, especially for a stay at home mom. We need to have something fun to look forward to. We often get stuck in the day to day rut of cooking, cleaning, settling toy disputes, cleaning up poop/pee/vomit.
For me personally, I have two kiddos with medical issues, so my calendar is overflowing with doctor appts, therapy sessions, and surgeries. The day to day of keeping up with all of it can become exhausting. Don't get me wrong, there is plenty of fun on that calendar, too, but it's nice to glance at it and see "vacation" in big letters. I NEED to see vacation in big letters. I love that for the most part, everywhere we travel to, there is a good friend or family member there to greet us. One of the good and bad things about being separated from people you care about.
Fortunately, hubby loves traveling as much as I do and we've always been a spontaneous couple when it comes to taking trips. Last minute road trip to Las Vegas for the millenium New Year? Check! And when I say last minute, I mean it. We decided to go on the 30th because there had been a ton of cancellations and hotel rooms were dirt cheap. He was flying home to LAX on the 31st, I picked him up at the airport and we drove straight there. It was awesome. Same with going to europe to celebrate Christmas in London and New Year's in Paris, as well as stops in Amsterdam and Belgium (this was clearly before kids). We decided to go about the first week of December because there were some ridiculous fare sales if you arrived on Christmas day and we had a friend's flat in London to stay in.
Even when Monkey came along, we tried to make travel a priority. It was hard the first year, as there were a lot of medical issues and equipment/surgeries kept us close to home. Right after his first birthday though, we started our travels again. I'm happy to say that Monkey has been to DC/Virginia three times, San Francisco/Monterey twice, Denver, Florida Keys, plus numerous road trips to Southern California, and throughout Arizona. He's got more frequent flier miles than a lot of adults. Even little Bear went on his first flight to DC at only 7 months old, and went to San Diego at 4 months.
The main reason I thought to write about this today, is that we just booked another trip. This one to Denver, Bear's first time there, Monkey's second. Ironically, as I'm pulling out and sorting through the winter clothes today, I realize that Bear is going to have almost exactly the same wardrobe for this trip as Monkey did when we took him. It's been almost three years since we've been there.
It's amazing what booking this trip did for my mood yesterday. Monkey had a medical procedure, nothing serious, but as always, stressful just the same. Read about it here*. It always deflates my mood when these things come up, and I tend to get in a funk. Hubby texts me around 5:30 to say he's heading home soon, but might have a new client in Denver, and is thinking about possibly traveling there in December. He wants to know what I think. This is like an instant shot of adreneline for me. Trip? Denver? Next month? Heck yes! So of course, before I even text him back, I check flights on my phone. I have all the travel apps for such an emergency. My favorite? The Southwest app and the ITA Travel app.
Within about 2 minutes I find a $66 roundtrip ticket on United. What? This must be some kind of glitch. The whole family could fly for under $200? You must be kidding me. So then I whip out the laptop and verify. Yup, it's true. Better yet, Southwest has almost the same fair, and no baggage fees! I call Hubby right away and by 6:00, after a phone call to our good friends in Denver, we have our tickets booked. I'm instantly on cloud 9. YES! After a crappy day, we now have a trip on the horizon. Best part, it's during the holidays! I love traveling during the Christmas season and seeing all the decorations and such.
The trip is a month away, but I'm already looking forward to it. Monkey's excited too. He keeps asking, "Are we going to Colorado today?" Can't wait.
Hope you are able to experience and enjoy all the fun and memories that traveling brings, with your family. And remember, some of the best experiences happen on the actual journey to your destination.
Hugs,
-J
*Of course, I wrote this post first, saved the draft, and then decided to write about his procedure before posting this.
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